Attachment in detachment

The title seems to confuse you, right? Well, on the contrary, there can be no better self-explanatory title than this. Let me elucidate. We all must have experienced at least one such time when we have cried with and for the person we love the most. What if, we wouldn't have done it at all? Do you think that in the eyes of our loved ones, the value of our love would have plummeted? Do you think that by such an act, we would have proved our love and concern? The answer is a clear no .

This is where people confuse 'expressing love' with 'showing love'. When we express love, we are more protective and ready to transcend into being a healer. A person who expresses love, thinks of solving the problem for the other and fight with the other. On the other hand, when we show love, we don't think, we just feel, we shut the brain and outcast logic. When we express love, we spend all our energy into pulling the other person out of a deep well of grief and problem, but when we show love, we too jump inside the well.

Love blended with a little logic and realism, can make a huge difference in not only the life of your beloved, but also your own. Think for yourself, what will give you more happiness and satisfaction, giving first aid to your wounded beloved or making yourself bleed to feel their pain?

Enough said, let me try to connect all this with the intention with which I started writing. If you see your loved one in pain of any kind (mental physical or emotional), instead of seeing it as a blow to yourself as well and being in constant fear, see it as a challenge, a situation that you have to face, like you have no other choice but to face it and act appropriately. Doing otherwise, will not only negatively affect you, but it will also drain the determination of your beloved.
Consider the following example so that things become clear to you.
Your son is clinically depressed and is out with you for a stroll on your insistence. You happen to meet a neighbour and friend in a park who is asking about your son's well-being. There are two ways of going about it:

# 1.   By showing love
Neighbour: "Hey, Mr./Mrs. ABC, good to see you, how are you? I heard about your son's condition. I am very sorry! How is he doing?"
You: "Hello XYZ ! I don't think I am doing very well. My son is taking so many medicines, I wish I could take all his pain. Why us? What have we done?"

# 2. By expressing love
Neighbour: "Hey, Mr./Mrs. ABC, good to see you, how are you? I heard about your son's condition. I am very sorry! How is he doing?"
You: "Hi XYZ! I am fine, thanks. My son is better now, it is a tough time, but our family will get through this."
If you go about the first way of responding, you not only lose the chance of realizing your own capability to fight unfavourable circumstances, but also strip your son of the minuscule willingness, that he might possess, to escape the darkness. The second way of responding will give strength to your child to fight the illness by seeing your confidence in them and in the treatment being provided.

Don't love in a manner that the other person suffocates. Be attached and yet, detached.


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