How to be happy?

How to be happy?

After addressing all the sadness and sufferings and the reasons behind them, talking about happiness is imperative. So, here is an article on how can one be happy under all circumstances. 
Human life is very moody. It can be very warm and friendly. Sometimes, showering all the good luck of the universe exclusively on you and sometimes, behave as if it is in the perfect mood to seek vengeance for God knows what! But irrespective of the ups and downs we get to see on the path of our life, we need to understand that walking the path will be less painful during rains and more enjoyable during sunshine if we remember to smile.
I understand that no two lives can be compared and no situation be relatively better or worse than the other and that's why the tips that I will be mentioning here do not "guarantee" happiness, but one thing I can assure is that the following tips can at least alleviate the sadness, if not get you jumping with joy.

#TIP 1: Accept the situation and act appropriately

This is the first step to a happy life and also the most difficult. To accept a situation is to face a situation no matter how bad it is. Once you have braced yourself to look the situation in the eye, you will be able to think clear and perform necessary actions to deal with it. 
People often feel scared to even think about a bad event that may have occurred in their life. They try to find escape routes in order to avoid the pain, for example, sleeping too much, indulging in drugs and alcohol, leaving a city/country and shift to another and the like. I have also seen cases where people get married for the second time in order to avoid the inevitable feeling of loneliness post divorce, with no true feelings for each other, thereby, ruining their own and the lives of the people associated with them. Accepting a situation is like getting rid of the root cause of the of an illness, it surely will hurt in the beginning, but eventually, the pain will subside and the illness uprooted.

#TIP 2: Do not succumb to people's expectations

With regard to your behavior and performance in various academic, non-academic and day to day activities, people often judge us for who we are and based on that, they base their expectations of who we can potentially be. Included in this category of "people" are our loved ones as well. Many a times, parents force their dreams on their children thinking that they would provide their children with the required resources that they didn't have and see their kids grow up to be what they themselves dreamt to be. Your parents love you, but they lack the understanding that every individual has his/her own likes and dislikes, goals and aims and hence, forcing their own aspiration on their kids might help them flourish in their career but might also make them susceptible to depression and unhappiness. This is just one basic example. There can be many other similar situations. Say, for instance, a society that you live in expects you to get married by a certain age, but you know that you don't want to get married unless you find your Mr/Ms. Right. Such a society's comments and judgement of your character might force you to marry anyone your parents deem fit for you despite of knowing from within that you might not be happy post marriage because of the simple reason that getting married wasn't your decision in the first place.
Remember that only YOU can judge your calibre and YOU are the one to give the authority to others to affect your mood. 


#TIP 3: Do not care about the world

By that sub-heading I didn't intend that you become a terrorist! 
Jokes apart, what I really mean by it is that the more you care about what the world perceives of you, the more unhappy you will be. Your happiness would depend on the views of the people around you despite of your self-satisfaction with your endeavors. 
Consider an example, if you are a man, your wife has recently been promoted and her work requires her to work late night and/or leave early in the morning. Given that you have kids, one of you has to give up his/her career to looks after them. You being a man, are surrounded with people with hawk's eyes and a 10th century B.C's mindset who expect you to earn and run the house, not wasting time looking after kids. This might force you to ask your wife to give up her high-paying-dream job despite of your willingness and readiness to encourage your wife to progress and look after the kids yourself. On the contrary, this is what you could do- show cold shoulder to what the world has to say and be the husband and father you want to be! This will not only give you an amazing sense of satisfaction, but you would also notice that you have been laughing and enjoying life like you never could after you started your career. Moreover, this one decision of yours can change the entire atmosphere of your house and to some extent, determine the kind of humans your own kids will grow up to be.

#TIP 4: Do not expect

I am aware that it is extremely hard to not expect certain things, way of conduct, etc. from the people who are very close to us but it isn't impossible either. This is akin to being slapped on the same place again and again, it will hurt you once, twice, thrice, may be even on subsequent hits. But a time will come, when that part of your body will get numb and any subsequent slaps will not give you any pain. Similarly, if you get hurt a lot of times, your emotional self-defence mechanism will come into operation and will create a clear wall around you to guard you against any further emotional wounds. This wall will be such that it will allow you to love people without getting hurt.
Remember, Expectation is the root cause of frustration.

#TIP 5: Dare to take risks

A very dear friend of mine tells me that it is easy said than done when I say "Dare to take risks". Many of you reading this would also agree with my friend. But let me tell you that I understand that many a times, circumstances force us to make painful renunciations and merely survive for the sake of our loved ones and I empathize with them. Let me tell you, how and when one can take risks-
Life CAN be changed. Life is like a set of paths that we choose each time we are given a choice. Imagine life making you stand at the junction of certain paths, one of which you must walk on. Each path leads to the same destination but each path has its unique attribute- the path that you choose could be a tough one or an easy one. For instance, if you have always dreamed of being a musician but couldn't pursue a career in it because of personal issues, you could decide to completely forget about it and let life be the way it is (happy/unhappy), or, you could decide to save money now and take a formal training later in life, or, you could self-train yourself. The choice is yours! you can choose to believe in yourself and change your life or regret when you lie on your death bed.
After quite some time of walking a path, a time comes to choose again and this process continues until we all reach one common destination- death! This is why I say that life can be molded, not all is pre-decided.

Remember that life is a journey on the paths that we choose, death is the destination.
Please share your experiences with any of these tips that you tried. Also, please feel free to mention any of your tried and tested tips for happiness.

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